Imposter Syndrome

Seeing the post of a fellow 'tweeter' today reminded me about "impostor syndrome", a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to appreciate or accept their accomplishments. It is not officially recognised and is not among the conditions described in the DSM (thank goodness) but it has been the subject of numerous books and articles by psychologists and education experts. The term was originally used, I understand, by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 (Wikipedia).


My fellow 'tweeter', also a fellow Aspie, talked about having his "cover blown" - that feeling of having to keep who you really are hidden from view - and the incongruous feelings that go with that. The freedom of being who you truly are and feeling free to express that real 'you' gives you the opportunity to - as he so eloquently expressed it - "feel whole again".


Aspies especially seem to be in that position of having to both cover themselves - become chameleons in society - for fear of being seen as different, when there is a social need to 'fit in'. How many of us have done that - and continue to be something other than ourselves, making ourselves psychologically ill and exhausted in the process trying to be 'normal'?


The other thing we try to cover are abilities and strengths - which certainly seems incongruous when you think about it. But, despite evidence of competence - qualifications and experience, those with imposter syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved - what we achieve is never enough. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, good timing or as a result of deceiving others into thinking we are more intelligent or competent than we actually believe ourselves to be. Could be why my husband keeps asking me just how many qualifications I need before I feel acceptable (and acceptable to whom exactly?!)


Now this I found interesting too - impostor syndrome, in which competent people find it impossible to believe in their own competence, can apparently (and logically) be viewed as complementary to the Dunning-Kruger effect (no I'd never heard of it either) in which incompetent people find it impossible to believe in their own incompetence. This reminded me of a recent situation in which a friend of mine told me about staff in her department - the women rated themselves at annual review as lower achieving over the year (despite huge and committed efforts and successes) than some of the men who rated themselves highly despite being extremely ineffective overall and contributing little other than up to date football league facts and statistics! Now I'm not suggesting that this only occurs in women (and Aspies) but it does tend to be associated strongly with academics and graduates.


So, back to my previous question - why, I wonder, are we never 'whole', never quite acceptable - why is what we are never enough ........... for ourselves!