Friday, 8 June 2012
Imposter Syndrome
Seeing the post of a fellow 'tweeter' today reminded me about "impostor syndrome", a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to appreciate or accept their accomplishments. It is not officially recognised and is not among the conditions described in the DSM (thank goodness) but it has been the subject of numerous books and articles by psychologists and education experts. The term was originally used, I understand, by clinical psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 (Wikipedia).
My fellow 'tweeter', also a fellow Aspie, talked about having his "cover blown" - that feeling of having to keep who you really are hidden from view - and the incongruous feelings that go with that. The freedom of being who you truly are and feeling free to express that real 'you' gives you the opportunity to - as he so eloquently expressed it - "feel whole again".
Aspies especially seem to be in that position of having to both cover themselves - become chameleons in society - for fear of being seen as different, when there is a social need to 'fit in'. How many of us have done that - and continue to be something other than ourselves, making ourselves psychologically ill and exhausted in the process trying to be 'normal'?
The other thing we try to cover are abilities and strengths - which certainly seems incongruous when you think about it. But, despite evidence of competence - qualifications and experience, those with imposter syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved - what we achieve is never enough. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, good timing or as a result of deceiving others into thinking we are more intelligent or competent than we actually believe ourselves to be. Could be why my husband keeps asking me just how many qualifications I need before I feel acceptable (and acceptable to whom exactly?!)
Now this I found interesting too - impostor syndrome, in which competent people find it impossible to believe in their own competence, can apparently (and logically) be viewed as complementary to the Dunning-Kruger effect (no I'd never heard of it either) in which incompetent people find it impossible to believe in their own incompetence. This reminded me of a recent situation in which a friend of mine told me about staff in her department - the women rated themselves at annual review as lower achieving over the year (despite huge and committed efforts and successes) than some of the men who rated themselves highly despite being extremely ineffective overall and contributing little other than up to date football league facts and statistics! Now I'm not suggesting that this only occurs in women (and Aspies) but it does tend to be associated strongly with academics and graduates.
So, back to my previous question - why, I wonder, are we never 'whole', never quite acceptable - why is what we are never enough ........... for ourselves!
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Asperger's and Employment
I spent yesterday morning at a talk organised by Rainbow Autism CIC in Worcester featuring some of their very brave and articulate service users, humorous psychologist (do those words actually go together?!) Tim Lacey and the lovely writer Rudy Simone. The subject matter was Asperger's and Higher Functioning Autism and job prospects: the strengths and skill set of Asperger's and how to make best use of that.
Those with Asperger's and HFA made it abundantly clear in their words just how difficult it is to get work at all - especially in an area in which you are intellectually qualified, keep work due to misunderstandings, and be accepted by colleagues and peers. The other side of this is the Job Centre (makes sign of cross to ward off vampires!) and just how unthoughtful and inconsiderate the system can be in making a difficult situation worse - impossible for many - with ASCs - do they really think they want to be there?
Tim Lacey talked about assessment and how the diagnostics focus on all the things people with ASCs can't do - so what about all the things they can do that NTs can't? - ok - hear pitch correctly, manage technology, draw a cube (think you can do that - try it!), focus for long periods and work with dedication - I must admit because I can do these things it never occurred to me until yesterday that others couldn't - and I thought it was my skill set that was lacking. Tell the truth! - how many strange and incongruous business ideas would that have put to bed without thousands of pounds spent if only they had asked the opinion of an Aspie :-)
Okay, so with AS you may struggle a little with people skills - but you should have heard the service users talks and also Rudy, who is a prolific writer (I really must get on with that 1 book I have sitting in chapters but unwritten), is also a consumate speaker, musician and comic. While I'm not in that league I work successfully as a counsellor online and f2f and no one notices - in fact I get very good feedback for the service I offer and people contacting me by word of mouth. I would even argue, in our fun loving and childlike way we make extremely good primary school teachers. So maybe even people skills is a nonentity - it is really only social skills that cause a problem and so shouldn't affect a work environment.
As Rudy - who wrote the guide Asperger's on the Job points out, those with ASCs are not disabled - they are differently abled. At work you won't find us sitting reading Hello magazine, talking about soaps and our weekend clubbing - we'll be working. Organisation is not necessarily a natural talent and things might be done slightly differently (my mother called me cack-handed and without an ounce of common sense) but these things can be learned and practiced well.
What is important is finding the right place - and that is where Aspie's can take control - create your own opportunities - work with your interests and what you have already had success, and also what your triggers are to avoid, with then use the Aspie's best friend Google to find out what you need to reach your goal.
Make others aware of your little foibles - if they know about your tics, muteness and stammering when anxious they will pay less attention when it happens - play for sympathy if necessary but preferably empathy and understanding. Remember NTs have little foibles all of their own - we are all individuals!
In an ideal world people will know more about Autism right from school - there was an argument yesterday that teachers are not well enough educated. As an ex teacher I disagree, teachers are very well versed in ASCs generally and special provision is made, but when you have 36 children in a class, a syllabus to teach in a limited time and impossible standards to reach - along with each of those 36 children having their own issues that need to be known about, recognised and understood - you really are looking at an impossible task. Companies should be more willing to listen however, especially when they are contacted and offered free information workshops. Ok, it takes out from work time but everyone should be improving their knowledge regardless of their work. Any company who has more than 88 employees and says they have no Aspies is blind, deaf and dumb to their employees needs. I would argue that the number of employees, especially in some areas (IT and engineering specifically) would be considerably lower to have a significant number of people with carefully hidden ASCs working for them.
So self-awareness, education for self and others, recognising strengths - and recognising that there is a world beyond the darkened room with the internet :-)
There's a long way to go - but attendance at workshops like these that Rudy and others do all over the world go a long way to increasing knowledge and understanding.
Those with Asperger's and HFA made it abundantly clear in their words just how difficult it is to get work at all - especially in an area in which you are intellectually qualified, keep work due to misunderstandings, and be accepted by colleagues and peers. The other side of this is the Job Centre (makes sign of cross to ward off vampires!) and just how unthoughtful and inconsiderate the system can be in making a difficult situation worse - impossible for many - with ASCs - do they really think they want to be there?
Tim Lacey talked about assessment and how the diagnostics focus on all the things people with ASCs can't do - so what about all the things they can do that NTs can't? - ok - hear pitch correctly, manage technology, draw a cube (think you can do that - try it!), focus for long periods and work with dedication - I must admit because I can do these things it never occurred to me until yesterday that others couldn't - and I thought it was my skill set that was lacking. Tell the truth! - how many strange and incongruous business ideas would that have put to bed without thousands of pounds spent if only they had asked the opinion of an Aspie :-)
Okay, so with AS you may struggle a little with people skills - but you should have heard the service users talks and also Rudy, who is a prolific writer (I really must get on with that 1 book I have sitting in chapters but unwritten), is also a consumate speaker, musician and comic. While I'm not in that league I work successfully as a counsellor online and f2f and no one notices - in fact I get very good feedback for the service I offer and people contacting me by word of mouth. I would even argue, in our fun loving and childlike way we make extremely good primary school teachers. So maybe even people skills is a nonentity - it is really only social skills that cause a problem and so shouldn't affect a work environment.
As Rudy - who wrote the guide Asperger's on the Job points out, those with ASCs are not disabled - they are differently abled. At work you won't find us sitting reading Hello magazine, talking about soaps and our weekend clubbing - we'll be working. Organisation is not necessarily a natural talent and things might be done slightly differently (my mother called me cack-handed and without an ounce of common sense) but these things can be learned and practiced well.
What is important is finding the right place - and that is where Aspie's can take control - create your own opportunities - work with your interests and what you have already had success, and also what your triggers are to avoid, with then use the Aspie's best friend Google to find out what you need to reach your goal.
Make others aware of your little foibles - if they know about your tics, muteness and stammering when anxious they will pay less attention when it happens - play for sympathy if necessary but preferably empathy and understanding. Remember NTs have little foibles all of their own - we are all individuals!
In an ideal world people will know more about Autism right from school - there was an argument yesterday that teachers are not well enough educated. As an ex teacher I disagree, teachers are very well versed in ASCs generally and special provision is made, but when you have 36 children in a class, a syllabus to teach in a limited time and impossible standards to reach - along with each of those 36 children having their own issues that need to be known about, recognised and understood - you really are looking at an impossible task. Companies should be more willing to listen however, especially when they are contacted and offered free information workshops. Ok, it takes out from work time but everyone should be improving their knowledge regardless of their work. Any company who has more than 88 employees and says they have no Aspies is blind, deaf and dumb to their employees needs. I would argue that the number of employees, especially in some areas (IT and engineering specifically) would be considerably lower to have a significant number of people with carefully hidden ASCs working for them.
So self-awareness, education for self and others, recognising strengths - and recognising that there is a world beyond the darkened room with the internet :-)
There's a long way to go - but attendance at workshops like these that Rudy and others do all over the world go a long way to increasing knowledge and understanding.
Friday, 11 May 2012
Loss and remembrance
The funeral of a much loved aunt yesterday had me thinking about how we cope with the loss of a loved one and the severance, whether expected and prepared for or unexpected, of that connection. It also made me think about how each one of us is a link in a chain and how that break can cause the remainder to separate and lose it's way.
Yesterday I spent time and shared with family I see rarely - and I wonder why that is. We all work hard, full time, have families and friends to look after, precious time to spare for other interests - and when we get together we always say we must not leave it so long next tim, or worse, until the next funeral. Much of my family live around the globe, some just in other parts of Britain and, given the motorway systems, it can take as long to go and see them as it does to fly to see the others!
A comment made by a cousin of mine started to put things into a little bit of perspective for me. His daughter will soon be returning with her own family to live in Australia. He pointed out to her that if she needed him he was only 24 hours away.
But online we are actually often only a click away.
With technology - Facebook for example, we can keep up to date with each others news and pictures, via Dropbox and other cloud systems we can share entire files of photographs and film clips. MSN and Skype offer instant chat and also video. A brief call and there we are, face to face, and without the feeling of obligation of a lengthy visit or phone call where we have the concern of little time or having to try to fill all the time we have together with talk (or is that just me?)
We really are closer than we think.
But what about where we started - with death. No click is going to bring that person back. They live now only in our memories and hearts - and you can argue that that is exactly where they should be anyway, dead or alive.
A couple of years ago a beloved cat, Willow, died very suddenly when she was hit by a car. She had spent all night cuddled up to me in bed and let herself out of my bedroom window in the morning. The next thing I knew was the phone call when we were having Sunday morning breakfast.
Now you have to understand first of all that I am mad cat lady. My cats are part of my family - they spend lots and lots of quality time with me and I care for them (ok it's debatable if that is reciprocated - but they do at least know it is me that opens the tuna can).
At this time I was caught up in a Facebook game (yes I know ... :-( ) called FarmTown. I had at this time become sufficiently involved that I desperately (!) needed neighbours and so ............
........ well I'm sure you know what happened next.
However now I rarely visit my farm (or Willow's!) but, on the occasional times that I do - there she is. On her farm she looks 'human' but on mine she is the little black furball wandering around that she was in life. In fact most of my 'farm' when I visit brings back memories or has some meaning - Willow has Willow trees around her and a rose garden. I have stables where my sone used to ride, a little house in a bluebell wood (I had bluebells from my grandmother Maisie's garden which I planted out into a woodland in an old house of ours, a peach, pear and plum garden - one of my son's favourite books when he was young ........ and so on. It is a place where there are memories and meaning for me personally now those times, and that particular beautiful cat, have gone forever from my life.
At a recent conference Kate Anthony talked about using Second Life for the auditory hallucinations of schizophrenia - to give them a persona and take back control from them.
It occurs to me that is another way of 'visiting' a loved one you can no longer see in real life and may bring comfort.
But bear with me here, I am notorious for sitting on the fence - it is my speciality!
Is what I am taking about here healthy psychologically? Is there some possible more sinister result from keeping someone 'alive' elsewhere than your memory? Is there a risk that you never allow yourself a proper ending?
I must admit I'm not sure. The possibilities are there - after all we keep photographs and film clips and watch them again and remember special people in special times - it is a critical part of the healing and acceptance process. What is different about taking that control and maintaining a memory in another place online? Somewhere special for you individually?
My 'farm' is precious to me - but, much as I loved Willow, it is not the same as losing my aunt - or anyone else who was important in my life.
I think I'll stay on the fence for now.
Yesterday I spent time and shared with family I see rarely - and I wonder why that is. We all work hard, full time, have families and friends to look after, precious time to spare for other interests - and when we get together we always say we must not leave it so long next tim, or worse, until the next funeral. Much of my family live around the globe, some just in other parts of Britain and, given the motorway systems, it can take as long to go and see them as it does to fly to see the others!
A comment made by a cousin of mine started to put things into a little bit of perspective for me. His daughter will soon be returning with her own family to live in Australia. He pointed out to her that if she needed him he was only 24 hours away.
But online we are actually often only a click away.
With technology - Facebook for example, we can keep up to date with each others news and pictures, via Dropbox and other cloud systems we can share entire files of photographs and film clips. MSN and Skype offer instant chat and also video. A brief call and there we are, face to face, and without the feeling of obligation of a lengthy visit or phone call where we have the concern of little time or having to try to fill all the time we have together with talk (or is that just me?)
We really are closer than we think.
But what about where we started - with death. No click is going to bring that person back. They live now only in our memories and hearts - and you can argue that that is exactly where they should be anyway, dead or alive.
A couple of years ago a beloved cat, Willow, died very suddenly when she was hit by a car. She had spent all night cuddled up to me in bed and let herself out of my bedroom window in the morning. The next thing I knew was the phone call when we were having Sunday morning breakfast.
Now you have to understand first of all that I am mad cat lady. My cats are part of my family - they spend lots and lots of quality time with me and I care for them (ok it's debatable if that is reciprocated - but they do at least know it is me that opens the tuna can).
At this time I was caught up in a Facebook game (yes I know ... :-( ) called FarmTown. I had at this time become sufficiently involved that I desperately (!) needed neighbours and so ............
........ well I'm sure you know what happened next.
However now I rarely visit my farm (or Willow's!) but, on the occasional times that I do - there she is. On her farm she looks 'human' but on mine she is the little black furball wandering around that she was in life. In fact most of my 'farm' when I visit brings back memories or has some meaning - Willow has Willow trees around her and a rose garden. I have stables where my sone used to ride, a little house in a bluebell wood (I had bluebells from my grandmother Maisie's garden which I planted out into a woodland in an old house of ours, a peach, pear and plum garden - one of my son's favourite books when he was young ........ and so on. It is a place where there are memories and meaning for me personally now those times, and that particular beautiful cat, have gone forever from my life.
At a recent conference Kate Anthony talked about using Second Life for the auditory hallucinations of schizophrenia - to give them a persona and take back control from them.
It occurs to me that is another way of 'visiting' a loved one you can no longer see in real life and may bring comfort.
But bear with me here, I am notorious for sitting on the fence - it is my speciality!
Is what I am taking about here healthy psychologically? Is there some possible more sinister result from keeping someone 'alive' elsewhere than your memory? Is there a risk that you never allow yourself a proper ending?
I must admit I'm not sure. The possibilities are there - after all we keep photographs and film clips and watch them again and remember special people in special times - it is a critical part of the healing and acceptance process. What is different about taking that control and maintaining a memory in another place online? Somewhere special for you individually?
My 'farm' is precious to me - but, much as I loved Willow, it is not the same as losing my aunt - or anyone else who was important in my life.
I think I'll stay on the fence for now.
Friday, 27 April 2012
Successful Social Media for Marketing
Well, if ever we needed proof of the power of social networking - I posted my last blog about online counselling on Facebook, Twitter and Linked In. What it has produced is a long and interesting discussion on Linked In about the value of online counselling ....
... and new applicants to the course that Online Training for Counsellors has added to their usual tri annual intake for the general certificate in online counselling!
Find more information about it here
http://www.onlinetrainingforcounsellors.co.uk/
This new course will run from 17th May to the 24th July - so still time to apply and get an early bird discount up to the 10th May, and still be finished the course in time for summer holidays. What's not to like!
The general course lasts for 10 weeks. In that time you learn about language, basic legal issues, using technology, user friendly approaches online, difference and diversity - because online work increases opportunities and equality for those who can only use this method to have counselling at all, and beginnings, middles and endings and how they can be effective in therapy online, among many other things.
You will do a weekly practice task online to consider individually and in groups the most ethical and effective ways of working will clients with diverse issues and do role play to practice your new found skills.
You will learn how to present yourself and your work to clients and other counsellors online.
A weekly registration task offers great opportunities for self reflection and CPD, in addition to a learning reflective journal.
The greatest opportunity of course is to learn along with others in a group and build relationships, professional and personal, with other counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists from all over the world who will become a valuable peer group for your future online work.
The general certificate will help and support you in building the basic skills for taking your counselling work a step further towards working online but you may well become as committed to this way of working as we all did who work for OLT and take the diploma course next. This really is the future and opens so many doors in counselling both for clients and for us as counsellors.
CPD wise - what better and more interesting way to get 80 hours for your BACP reaccreditation ... 200 hours for the diploma. Consider that and what it will cost you for those odd daily workshops to build up your hours. Workshops are great too - and extremely diverse, but this is an opportunity to learn a whole new skill set, and one that is really worthwhile.
And the power of social media ........
Well you're reading this aren't you?!
Come and join everyone else who has found out about us this way. We look forward to meeting you :-)
... and new applicants to the course that Online Training for Counsellors has added to their usual tri annual intake for the general certificate in online counselling!
Find more information about it here
http://www.onlinetrainingforcounsellors.co.uk/
This new course will run from 17th May to the 24th July - so still time to apply and get an early bird discount up to the 10th May, and still be finished the course in time for summer holidays. What's not to like!
The general course lasts for 10 weeks. In that time you learn about language, basic legal issues, using technology, user friendly approaches online, difference and diversity - because online work increases opportunities and equality for those who can only use this method to have counselling at all, and beginnings, middles and endings and how they can be effective in therapy online, among many other things.
You will do a weekly practice task online to consider individually and in groups the most ethical and effective ways of working will clients with diverse issues and do role play to practice your new found skills.
You will learn how to present yourself and your work to clients and other counsellors online.
A weekly registration task offers great opportunities for self reflection and CPD, in addition to a learning reflective journal.
The greatest opportunity of course is to learn along with others in a group and build relationships, professional and personal, with other counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists from all over the world who will become a valuable peer group for your future online work.
The general certificate will help and support you in building the basic skills for taking your counselling work a step further towards working online but you may well become as committed to this way of working as we all did who work for OLT and take the diploma course next. This really is the future and opens so many doors in counselling both for clients and for us as counsellors.
CPD wise - what better and more interesting way to get 80 hours for your BACP reaccreditation ... 200 hours for the diploma. Consider that and what it will cost you for those odd daily workshops to build up your hours. Workshops are great too - and extremely diverse, but this is an opportunity to learn a whole new skill set, and one that is really worthwhile.
And the power of social media ........
Well you're reading this aren't you?!
Come and join everyone else who has found out about us this way. We look forward to meeting you :-)
Friday, 20 April 2012
Louis Theroux's Extreme Love
Ok - so I went into this expecting to hate it, and yes I do have one or two ....... or maybe three gripes, but actually that is all, so maybe we should get those out of the way first.
Firstly, and the one that had me shouting at the TV was the use of unnecessary restraint. There is very, very rarely a need to restrain another person. If they are going to seriously harm themselves or someone else (and I'm talking life or death here) then perhaps - unless you'd like to use the calmer and significantly more effective technique of distraction. However, restraint often does - and did - make a difficult situation considerably worse. It's bad enough using it on Neuro Typicals - restraint is a punishment and a humiliation - but to restrain and increase the anxiety of a person with autism who already is in sensory overload, often made worse by touch, is pretty unforgivable.
Secondly, was the talk of removing behaviours. What do you mean remove?! Working from first principles here, behaviour is a form of communication. People with autism have enough problems with frustration trying to express themselves - and you're going to try to take that away?
Thirdly is Applied Behaviour Analysis. I probably made my opinion on this pretty clear yesterday, but training a person is nowhere near getting to a bridge and crossing it to be in their world. There wasn't as much focus on this as I had dreaded and actually you had to know what they were using to recognise the principle anyway.
I'm also still confused as to why it was necessary for a UK presenter for a UK programme to go to the USA to make a documentary on Autism.
However on the whole the issues were sensitively approached - and it was good to see Louis himself put on the back foot by the beautifully verbose star of the show - Nicky - for whom I wish every good thing in life. He was wonderful!
It was good to see parents who, in the main, were coping admirably with difficult and challenging lives (and I've been there too) - if only some of them would learn to be a little slower, calmer and not wind their Autistic offspring up to panic pitch.
Not too bad Mr Theroux - but can we look at the UK next time please? We have people with Autism here too - and we don't feel so much need to modify behaviour and communication, as instead to work with them and celebrate the diversity of Autistic Spectrum Conditions.
Friday, 13 April 2012
Teaching Online Counselling Skills
Why train online for counselling? You already are a counsellor or psychologist I guess and working perfectly well f2f. Surely working online is no different - it just takes a computer instead of being in the same room?
Well, no - not really. You will benefit, and your clients will benefit even more, if you take the time to learn how to transfer your current skills and work effectively and ethically online.
Firstly, there is all the legal and ethical stuff to consider. Making sure you are insured for a start - your current company may not cover you for this. Considering where and how you can work - there are limitations, especially in the USA and you don't want to be caught out. How are you going to maintain confidentiality?
How are you even going to know who you are talking to? - with online disinhibition and anonymity what are the effects of this? - what will you do in an emergency situation? - what about the increased power of transference and counter-transference?
Lots of people might contact you to work online because they cannot cope with working f2f.
How will you demonstrate core conditions of empathy, acceptance and congruence when the person you are talking to cannot see you and you cannot see them? Consider just how much of our language is based on what we can see?
What about other ways of working that you can incorporate - narrative and creative therapies. What about immediacy, editing, reflection and mirroring?
How will you manage the beginning, middle and ending?
What about when clients contact you later via Facebook, follow you on Twitter, pop up on Skype? - It's a small world in counselling and smaller still online.
And then there is the lovely Mieke - all round online multi-tasker - tutor, counsellor, trainer, coach and marketing guru - she will teach you things about marketing your online business you didn't know that you didn't know!!
Training online myself and then being a tutor for www.onlinetrainingforcounsellors.co.uk, I have possibly learned so much - and then as much if not more than the students I have taught.
Firstly teaching the concepts and skills of online counselling, instead of being the student, put much of my work into a different context - offering opportunities for new thoughts, reflections and learning. The students also have such a lot to bring to the course of their own lives and work - the online group experience enriching the learning for everyone.
Convinced yet? Counselling online is not just deciding to use a computer instead of sitting in a room with someone. You need to know how to make your online environment into your personal counselling room - and lots lots more.
The BACP will certainly appreciate you for it - there will soon be a specific accreditation division for online counsellors who have trained on a BACP recommended course.
So come and join us for the general 10 week certificate in May 2012 (September if you can't manage May) and perhaps you will be as convinced as to the future of online counselling as we all are and carry on with the diploma next April - A fantastic online experience and opportunity to build an online peer group.
http://www.onlinetrainingforcounsellors.co.uk
Monday, 2 April 2012
Magic Box
The Magic Box
I will put in the box
the swish of a silk sari on a summer night,
fire from the nostrils of a Chinese dragon,
the tip of a tongue touching a tooth.
I will put in the box
a snowman with a rumbling belly,
a sip of the bluest water from Lake Lucerne,
a leaping spark from an electric fish.
I will put in the box
three violet wishes spoken in Gujarati,
the last joke of an ancient uncle
and the first smile of a baby.
I will put in the box
a fifth season and a black sun,
a cowboy on a broomstick
and a witch on a white horse.
My box is fashioned from ice and gold and steel,
with stars on the lid and secrets in the corners.
It's hinges are the toe joints
of dinosaurs.
I shall surf on my box
on the great high-rolling breaks of the wild Atlantic,
then wash ashore on a yellow beach
the colour of the sun.
Kit Wright
I used this poem many times when I was a primary school teacher and the children always loved it and made good use of it to develop their own imaginative poetry and metaphor and simile work.
Metaphor and imagery are such powerful tools in Counselling.
I was introduced to the idea of a first aid box during personal counselling once and have used it to good effect with clients since, so now I'd like to share it with you.
Close your eyes and relax.
Imagine a box - give it a shape, colour, texture, material, size ...
but it is a magic box - like Mary Poppins bag - and will hold anything you need to put inside.
Start to fill your box with things that will help you when you feel low ...
they may be real things and people, or they may be metaphors for these ..
... if you would like to accept it - I will start you off with an acorn - a seed that contains all it needs to grow and flourish within itself - and will grow into a strong and mighty oak tree.
You can add anything to your box whenever you find something that makes you feel good ...
and you can open it and look at the things inside anytime you like or need to ...
Enjoy!
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