Asperger's and Employment

I spent yesterday morning at a talk organised by Rainbow Autism CIC in Worcester featuring some of their very brave and articulate service users, humorous psychologist (do those words actually go together?!) Tim Lacey and the lovely writer Rudy Simone. The subject matter was Asperger's and Higher Functioning Autism and job prospects: the strengths and skill set of Asperger's and how to make best use of that.

Those with Asperger's and HFA made it abundantly clear in their words just how difficult it is to get work at all - especially in an area in which you are intellectually qualified, keep work due to misunderstandings,  and be accepted by colleagues and peers. The other side of this is the Job Centre (makes sign of cross to ward off vampires!) and just how unthoughtful and inconsiderate the system can be in making a difficult situation worse - impossible for many - with ASCs - do they really think they want to be there?

Tim Lacey talked about assessment and how the diagnostics focus on all the things people with ASCs can't do - so what about all the things they can do that NTs can't? - ok - hear pitch correctly, manage technology, draw a cube (think you can do that - try it!), focus for long periods and work with dedication - I must admit because I can do these things it never occurred to me until yesterday that others couldn't - and I thought it was my skill set that was lacking. Tell the truth! - how many strange and incongruous business ideas would that have put to bed without thousands of pounds spent if only they had asked the opinion of an Aspie :-)

Okay, so with AS you may struggle a little with people skills - but you should have heard the service users talks and also Rudy, who is a prolific writer (I really must get on with that 1 book I have sitting in chapters but unwritten), is also a consumate speaker, musician and comic. While I'm not in that league I work successfully as a counsellor online and f2f and no one notices - in fact I get very good feedback for the service I offer and people contacting me by word of mouth. I would even argue, in our fun loving and childlike way we make extremely good primary school teachers. So maybe even people skills is a nonentity - it is really only social skills that cause a problem and so shouldn't affect a work environment.

As Rudy - who wrote the guide Asperger's on the Job points out, those with ASCs are not disabled - they are differently abled. At work you won't find us sitting reading Hello magazine, talking about soaps and our weekend clubbing - we'll be working. Organisation is not necessarily a natural talent and things might be done slightly differently (my mother called me cack-handed and without an ounce of common sense) but these things can be learned and practiced well.

What is important is finding the right place - and that is where Aspie's can take control - create your own opportunities - work with your interests and what you have already had success, and also what your triggers are to avoid, with then use the Aspie's best friend Google to find out what you need to reach your goal.

Make others aware of your little foibles - if they know about your tics, muteness and stammering when anxious they will pay less attention when it happens - play for sympathy if necessary but preferably empathy and understanding. Remember NTs have little foibles all of their own - we are all individuals!

In an ideal world people will know more about Autism right from school - there was an argument yesterday that teachers are not well enough educated. As an ex teacher I disagree, teachers are very well versed in ASCs generally and special provision is made, but when you have 36 children in a class, a syllabus to teach in a limited time and impossible standards to reach - along with each of those 36 children having their own issues that need to be known about, recognised and understood - you really are looking at an impossible task. Companies should be more willing to listen however, especially when they are contacted and offered free information workshops. Ok, it takes out from work time but everyone should be improving their knowledge regardless of their work. Any company who has more than 88 employees and says they have no Aspies is blind, deaf and dumb to their employees needs. I would argue that the number of employees, especially in some areas (IT and engineering specifically) would be considerably lower to have a significant number of people with carefully hidden ASCs working for them.

So self-awareness, education for self and others, recognising strengths - and recognising that there is a world beyond the darkened room with the internet :-)

There's a long way to go - but attendance at workshops like these that Rudy and others do all over the world go a long way to increasing knowledge and understanding.

Loss and remembrance

The funeral of a much loved aunt yesterday had me thinking about how we cope with the loss of a loved one and the severance, whether expected and prepared for or unexpected, of that connection. It also made me think about how each one of us is a link in a chain and how that break can cause the remainder to separate and lose it's way.

Yesterday I spent time and shared with family I see rarely - and I wonder why that is. We all work hard, full time, have families and friends to look after, precious time to spare for other interests - and when we get together we always say we must not leave it so long next tim, or worse, until the next funeral. Much of my family live around the globe, some just in other parts of Britain and, given the motorway systems, it can take as long to go and see them as it does to fly to see the others!

A comment made by a cousin of mine started to put things into a little bit of perspective for me. His daughter will soon be returning with her own family to live in Australia. He pointed out to her that if she needed him he was only 24 hours away.

But online we are actually often only a click away.

With technology - Facebook for example, we can keep up to date with each others news and pictures, via Dropbox and other cloud systems we can share entire files of photographs and film clips. MSN and Skype offer instant chat and also video. A brief call and there we are, face to face, and without the feeling of obligation of a lengthy visit or phone call where we have the concern of little time or having to try to fill all the time we have together with talk (or is that just me?)

We really are closer than we think.

But what about where we started - with death. No click is going to bring that person back. They live now only in our memories and hearts - and you can argue that that is exactly where they should be anyway, dead or alive.

A couple of years ago a beloved cat, Willow, died very suddenly when she was hit by a car. She had spent all night cuddled up to me in bed and let herself out of my bedroom window in the morning. The next thing I knew was the phone call when we were having Sunday morning breakfast.

Now you have to understand first of all that I am mad cat lady. My cats are part of my family - they spend lots and lots of quality time with me and I care for them (ok it's debatable if that is reciprocated - but they do at least know it is me that opens the tuna can).

At this time I was caught up in a Facebook game (yes I know ... :-( ) called FarmTown. I had at this time become sufficiently involved that I desperately (!) needed neighbours and so ............

........ well I'm sure you know what happened next.

However now I rarely visit my farm (or Willow's!) but, on the occasional times that I do - there she is. On her farm she looks 'human' but on mine she is the little black furball wandering around that she was in life. In fact most of my 'farm' when I visit brings back memories or has some meaning - Willow has Willow trees around her and a rose garden. I have stables where my sone used to ride, a little house in a bluebell wood (I had bluebells from my grandmother Maisie's garden which I planted out into a woodland in an old house of ours, a peach, pear and plum garden - one of my son's favourite books when he was young ........ and so on. It is a place where there are memories and meaning for me personally now those times, and that particular beautiful cat, have gone forever from my life.

At a recent conference Kate Anthony talked about using Second Life for the auditory hallucinations of schizophrenia - to give them a persona and take back control from them.

It occurs to me that is another way of 'visiting' a loved one you can no longer see in real life and may bring comfort.

But bear with me here, I am notorious for sitting on the fence - it is my speciality!

Is what I am taking about here healthy psychologically? Is there some possible more sinister result from keeping someone 'alive' elsewhere than your memory? Is there a risk that you never allow yourself a proper ending?

I must admit I'm not sure. The possibilities are there - after all we keep photographs and film clips and watch them again and remember special people in special times - it is a critical part of the healing and acceptance process. What is different about taking that control and maintaining a memory in another place online? Somewhere special for you individually?

My 'farm' is precious to me - but, much as I loved Willow, it is not the same as losing my aunt - or anyone else who was important in my life.

I think I'll stay on the fence for now.